Wednesday 25 November 2009

Open Adoption

I have just listened to a fascinating Radio 4 programme about Open Adoption and not surprising there is now talk that open adoption and letter contact with birthparents may actually be detrimental to the child.

This is one reason why potential parents may choose inernational adoption over domestic adoption because the idea of open adoption does not really make sense.

Is it in the child's best interest to have contact with someone who has physically, mentally or sexually abused them, or who has neglected them? The reason why these children have been removed from their parents in the first place is because the parents could not care for them, so what positive outcome will there be to 'force' contact with these people.
They mentioned in the programme that open adoption was suppose to reveal a truth about the child's life so that hidden mistruths will not be created. But because most children who are adopted have trauma in their lives, from the hands of those very people who are suppose to care for them and who are responsible for them being in care, and the conventional wisdom is open adoption - mistruths are being created and the truth is being hidden, covered up and fabricated.

I welcome the lastest comments and I am glad that there will now be a look into the practice of open adoption and at least reveal that it is not always in the best interest of the child.

Thursday 19 November 2009

Children-in-need a commodity?

It seems that there is nothing as controversial as intercountry adoption.
I have been in this world for over 8 years now - as an adoptive parent, creator of adoption support group, as advocate. I have read everything I can get my hands on, spoken to hundreds of adoptive parents and dozens of adoptees, attended lectures, organised conferences etc etc. and even now I am still discovering the subtleties of international adoption.
And I have spoken many times to the media - and this is what I find so interesting. 'Hello I wonder if you can help me - I have been asked to write this article about international adoption for Friday and I want to know....
And that is it 2 days of research and then these 'journalists' think that they know everything.
The most popular and again latest comment is that children in need are purely a commodity for desperate infertile and "Those who disagree, should ask themselves why they are not willing to give the money they would spend on that child to the community the child comes from. The impact on that child and many others in their community would be far greater than removing them from their community and adopting the child."
I love these rediculous, grand, ignorant statements. How much money I wonder will be equivalent to the loving and nurturing of a child? How much does it cost to take a child who has no future and give them a chance to have a normal life? Why is it always about money and never about love? I would like to see an article about international adoption that talks purely about love. The love it takes to relinquish a child, the love a child needs to give to make them human, the love an adult has to bring up someone else's child. Now that is a story.