Winner!!

I must be the proudest mom in the world!! My son has just won The Most Entertaining Singer at a local music festival - the judges 3 major West End Theatre Names. How totally, totally wonderful to have others verify that the voice I hear everyday is beautiful.

At the end of the evening when all the excitment had died down and my star was asleep, I could not rest. I could not even think. I was numb. Not in a negative way but in a reassesment way. Up until this point our lives have been on of survival, success being making it to the end of the day. We have lived in the moment, dealing with events as they arise, battling with RAD, struggling with emotions and behaviour, reaffirming stability and security.

And suddenly, the doors of the future have been swung open. The challange has begun. One of the major reasons for adoption is to give a child a chance to fulfil his or her potential. Now, much sooner then I anticipated, my son has shown his potential - it is now my job to help him fulfil it.

So with happy numbness I have to reassess my role. The gaunlet has been thrown and I cannot mess up. I have to direct this beautiful talent in the right direction, I need to ensure that I do the best for him, and it is now not in my hands - his talent will flourish in the hands of others and it it my task to find who are the right others. I hope I do the right thing.

And in the quiet moments I feel a little sad, a little sad because children grow up much quicker then we ever wish for.

For more about international adoption see www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk

Look closely

I have just read these powerful words from Alice Walker:

"Look closely at the present you are constructing:
it should look like the future you are dreaming."

Keep this in mind throughout the adoption process. Often times it feels as if you are just going round and around in circles with no end in sight. There is an end and you are constructing it. It may not have been your desired way to parenthood but it is now your way and as you progress you will see that each step that you complete brings you closer to your desired outcome - that of becoming a mother or father.

Construction is a good word that I hadn't thought of before. I have always seen adoption as something linear but now I read this I am having a rethink. It is not linear, it is as the word construction implies - three dimensional. Adoption and the road to it works on many levels building and creating, enduring and fashioning. You do construct a new world and perhaps that is why this process is so difficult. Unlike your future child's Lego blocks, which stack easily one on top of the other in a natural and cohesive way - constructing adoption has no instruction manual that you can just follow, it is not intuitive and natural, it is strange and rare and odd with events and people and process that prior to this you never knew existed. But as you come across them you place them in your constuction. For each person there is a different emphasis depending on the future they are dreaming. Thus each adoption is different, each journey different, each future different.

But International Adoption Guide www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk can help with the basics of your construction. We give you the tools and the instruction book to help you to construct your future, to guide you in the process and to lead you to your dreams.

Flame of Injustice and Flame of Hope

Listening to Radio 4 whilst sitting in the sunshine traffic jam, Tony Benn's words jumped out at me. You know when sometimes you hear something and it has such resonance that you feel the words rather then hear them?

Well, that is what has just happened. In the interview referring to his book 'Letters to My Grandchildren' Benn was questioned about his optimism. He replied 'In the heart there are two flames, one for injustice and one for hope, I try to keep both burning'.

Wham! That is exactly it in one sentence - thank you Mr Benn. Those two flames burn so brightly in my heart as well. The flame burning for the forgotten children. Through no fault of their own life has thrown them a terrible injustice. And we can look upon it and say 'Oh Dear' or we can do something about it.

And that is what International Adoption Guide is all about. By helping to empower potential parents to make informed choices to complete their families, I am fueling the flames of hope. Yes, it is my hope that people can see that adoption is a positive option. Yes, it is my hope that a few less children will grow up without a family relationship. Yes, it is my hope that these children learn about love and not just about survival.

Of course, like every beauty pageant contestant, I would like to solve all the problems of the world - but you cannot fix the human. We are by nature prone to make mistakes - but let not the mistakes of the parents be a scar on the child.

I want to make a tiny, tiny difference and I can. I can help parents battle through the maze of inter-country adoption. I can listen and understand their concerns. I can show that it is possible to love a little child who comes from a place that you have never heard of. And I know that no matter what the outcome, those children will have had a chance to run with the sun on their face, the wind in their hair and a voice on their lips. I want them to speak of what is in their hearts and I will smile knowing that it is the flames in my heart that gave them that chance.

The new International Adoption Guide coming soon to www.Internationaladoptionguide.co.uk