Look closely

I have just read these powerful words from Alice Walker:

"Look closely at the present you are constructing:
it should look like the future you are dreaming."

Keep this in mind throughout the adoption process. Often times it feels as if you are just going round and around in circles with no end in sight. There is an end and you are constructing it. It may not have been your desired way to parenthood but it is now your way and as you progress you will see that each step that you complete brings you closer to your desired outcome - that of becoming a mother or father.

Construction is a good word that I hadn't thought of before. I have always seen adoption as something linear but now I read this I am having a rethink. It is not linear, it is as the word construction implies - three dimensional. Adoption and the road to it works on many levels building and creating, enduring and fashioning. You do construct a new world and perhaps that is why this process is so difficult. Unlike your future child's Lego blocks, which stack easily one on top of the other in a natural and cohesive way - constructing adoption has no instruction manual that you can just follow, it is not intuitive and natural, it is strange and rare and odd with events and people and process that prior to this you never knew existed. But as you come across them you place them in your constuction. For each person there is a different emphasis depending on the future they are dreaming. Thus each adoption is different, each journey different, each future different.

But International Adoption Guide www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk can help with the basics of your construction. We give you the tools and the instruction book to help you to construct your future, to guide you in the process and to lead you to your dreams.

Flame of Injustice and Flame of Hope

Listening to Radio 4 whilst sitting in the sunshine traffic jam, Tony Benn's words jumped out at me. You know when sometimes you hear something and it has such resonance that you feel the words rather then hear them?

Well, that is what has just happened. In the interview referring to his book 'Letters to My Grandchildren' Benn was questioned about his optimism. He replied 'In the heart there are two flames, one for injustice and one for hope, I try to keep both burning'.

Wham! That is exactly it in one sentence - thank you Mr Benn. Those two flames burn so brightly in my heart as well. The flame burning for the forgotten children. Through no fault of their own life has thrown them a terrible injustice. And we can look upon it and say 'Oh Dear' or we can do something about it.

And that is what International Adoption Guide is all about. By helping to empower potential parents to make informed choices to complete their families, I am fueling the flames of hope. Yes, it is my hope that people can see that adoption is a positive option. Yes, it is my hope that a few less children will grow up without a family relationship. Yes, it is my hope that these children learn about love and not just about survival.

Of course, like every beauty pageant contestant, I would like to solve all the problems of the world - but you cannot fix the human. We are by nature prone to make mistakes - but let not the mistakes of the parents be a scar on the child.

I want to make a tiny, tiny difference and I can. I can help parents battle through the maze of inter-country adoption. I can listen and understand their concerns. I can show that it is possible to love a little child who comes from a place that you have never heard of. And I know that no matter what the outcome, those children will have had a chance to run with the sun on their face, the wind in their hair and a voice on their lips. I want them to speak of what is in their hearts and I will smile knowing that it is the flames in my heart that gave them that chance.

The new International Adoption Guide coming soon to www.Internationaladoptionguide.co.uk

'He is born'

This is the text message that I received on Friday at around 4pm - a great announcement on the birth of my Godson's son.
Such excitement at the arrival of this little boy into the world and into the bosom of this amazing family. His birth clarifies the link that already exists between two families, forming a bond that will create a positive and secure future for him. It is a wonderful feeling to see how safe and how loved this precious child is.
And a sharp contrast to those children who are unfortunate enough to be born into a family who, for what ever reason, are unable to look after them. Children born of mother's who cannot cope, who are not supported, who are too poor to afford even the basics. These children face a life path which is uncertain, vague and precarious. One hopes that there are systems in place which the birth mothers can fall back on, but in some countries these hopes will never be fulfilled. Mothers will become desperate and their children will join the millions of abandoned, abused, neglected others who litter the world today. My Godson's child is blessed and he is fortunate to have a strong and loving family who will support him, nuture him and offer him every opportunity for fulfil his destiny. For a handful of the millions of children without parental care, adoption will give them the opportunity to find a family who will support them, nuture them and give them every opportuntity to fulfil their destinty - in other words give them a chance to lead a normal life and to be part of a stong and loving family.

www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk