Reflection

One of the members of our Russian UK Adoption (RUKA) group has just become a Mama. She is in Moscow at the moment and has taken custody of her son for three days now. She is loving it and talking to her bought back all the memories of when I became a mother. It is the most exhilarating of experiences, but at the same time tinged with exhaustion, stress, incredibility, panic, contentment, excitement, relief and then ultimate 'Oh my God' experience.
My little boy was sick when I picked him up - he had the most terrible cold and cough and kept on waking up all night. Strange bed, strange smells, strange sounds and me! I of course could not sleep - I was too excited and wired. My days were still filled with gathering the last documents to secure that this dream was actually mine. I could not believe that this little soul had been given to me to care for and to nuture - it was such a Blessing. But I could not rest until I had every last bit of paper and was on that aeroplane heading home. And yet my whole body resonated with joy. I could not stop looking at my son, and saying those words over and over. Was it really true. It had taken me just short of three years to get to this point. In that time one of my friends had met her husband, married and had a 18month old child... and now it was my turn to be Mama.
And he knew that I was his Mama. His smile, his look, his touch.
I remember his smell, how it gradually changed from that of the orphange to his own. And his weight. I still love that feeling of his weight on my lap - a little heavier now but no less pleasurable.
I trust my friend in Moscow is enjoying the same beautiful experiences and her son enjoying for the first time loving arms around him.